Fine Art

Crude but funny.

Right so i want to be a well respected artist one day, how better to start my journey of knowledge than to attend a high state art affair right in my home town of Wolverhampton!

I don't want to type out the story in full but let say everything that happened up to the exhibition was a mad rush, it started at 5 so i took a nap at one so i could be at my best for the evening.

I woke up at half 5 :(

Mad dash to the sink 5 tins of hair spray im outta there running to the gallery. On the way i pass a cafe and see two of mine uni lecturers in there, so i presume there going to the art gallery too.

Let me just add this was a private viewing of a massively famous painter couple Marianne and Adrian Stokes. They nailed a first class stamp with one of there painting and this was the first ever showing of the work in the UK, the couple died years ago but the work is carried on by the daughters and great daughter ect (we'll get to that later)

So i arrive, the receptionist asks for my coat and instead i give her my massive headphones she laughs and i carry on muttering how i made a good impression.

So now im in a nice flash atrium standing still for about 30 minuets waiting for something to happen when it hits me everyone else here is old. Very old.

Then my decent starts. Wine. i started to drink lots of wine to take my boredom away, 3 glasses in and nothing in my stomach, bad times.

Then my first mistake of the night. I see a woman with a massive necklace, bigger than big. So i cruise over and begin to mingle. My opening line "nice neck chain" went down pretty well and conversations about the youth art culture began to flow. The rest of the dialog is a blur but soon after the wine compelled me to start giggling like a little school girl. Upon that she departed.

4 glasses of wine now and people start gathering around the bottom of the stairs where a mic is set up and the woman with the bling gets up on stage, announces her self as the mayor of Wolverhampton. Gutted.

After a short speech from the mayor and some austrila who reminded me of a bond villian the gallery was open.

blah blah blah art was good ect ect ect go see it ect ect.

5 glasses in and im looking at a painting of some boats and trees when a woman taps me on the sholder. After a few minuets talking she tells me she was related to the artist and she helped put it togeather and she was happy her moms art was reaching out too young people. A few minuets later i slip in the question, so what do ya do when your not helping the work out? she replied "web designer" sadly i was pretty drunk here, rambeling on like a weird old man and then i said the words "let the side down about eh?" she departed and i couldn't believe what i'd just said.

Rest of the night was falling about giggeling going home and eating pizza, lets hope gallery visit number two is better.


disclaimer:
Side note, i made alot of new friends oddly enough, from the disabled motion opening some guys gave me some great ideas and everyone was really nice. Ignore my picture of devil jesus. Great show runs till 31 jan go see!

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